Marriage can be messy. Keeping a relationship healthy and happy requires a lot of work over time. Some spouses simply fall out of love over time if they change in different ways or were just temperamentally ill-suited to be together.
Here are five ways to recognize that your marriage is over:
1. You no longer care what happens.
If you can’t muster any kind of strong feelings about your spouse at all, that’s a sure sign that your relationship is emotionally over already. Fighting with your spouse over something important may not feel good, but it at least requires some sort of passion. If you just no longer care what your spouse does, you’ve probably already mentally “checked out.”
2. You fight over everything and anything.
This happens a lot when a lovestruck couple gets married despite their incompatabilities. Those incompatabilities grow and become more obvious once the fervor of “new love” fades. Dramatic fights within the first year of marriage are a bad sign and a clue that you and your spouse aren’t meant to be.
3. Your goals are woefully mismatched.
If you want a quiet existence and kids, but your spouse would rather live a bohemian life and remain childless, that’s not something that can be worked out through compromises. Major differences in your value systems don’t make for a happy marriage. One of you will have to sacrifice too much and may grow resentful.
4. You’ve grown to loathe your spouse.
Maybe your spouse has come to despise you in return. If you and your spouse resent each other and feel contempt toward each other, that’s a deal-breaker.
5. You don’t feel complete with your spouse.
Your spouse should be your friend, your family and your romantic interest. If any of those three are missing, it can be difficult to feel like you’re fullfilled in your marriage.
If your marraige “feels over,” it probably is. Talk to a family law attorney about what steps you should take next.